


sing for the damage we've done

by brogurt



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brogurt/pseuds/brogurt
Summary: Waverly and Nicole are getting married and Wynonna is tired. --(and the worse things that we'll do)





	

**Author's Note:**

> so..... this is not an update of hungry heart (forgive me! its coming soon). it has very happy wayhaught and very not happy wyndolls.
> 
> honestly i just went through a really messy and terrible breakup and this is more than a little bit about that. so indulge me and lets get some sadness going! i love Wynonna and dolls together, i really do. but i can't imagine their relationship would be in any way easy.
> 
> title is from Alpha Rats Nest by the Mountain Goats; a song which could not be more about Wyn and Dolls if it tried.

**JANUARY**

 

It wasn’t like she hadn’t noticed what was happening. Wynonna noticed it all. It was always around, haunting her worse than any demon they’d faced together. 

 

\--

 

Waverly turned and twirled around, bouncing in shades of glittery white. Her laugh rang high and loud. The service girl stood grinning, checking off little boxes on a clipboard as she asked Waverly questions about dates and measurements and all kinds of other important things. She looked older than both of them, maybe thirty-five. Wynonna couldn’t help but take in how her hands jittered, her fingernails yellowing.

She needs a smoke, Wynonna thought.

Me too lady.

“What do you think, Wyn?”

Wynonna eyes shot back to Waverly who was staring at her. There was only the slightest bit of frustration peeking out from behind her joy.

“Looks great, babygirl.” She forced a smile, “You’ll knock ‘em dead.”

“Your fiancee is a very lucky man.” The other woman said, playing up her sweetness. This whole place dripped of greeting-card kindness, bright colors and harsh light. Waverly turned, not missing a beat.

“ _She’s_ a very lucky _woman_.” She corrected. Wynonna rolled her eyes. Waverly loved to pick fights nowadays, she couldn’t let anything die down quietly.

 _Neither can you_. A voice came from nowhere.

“Oh!” She looked between the sisters, only slightly thrown. “I’m sorry, miss. You just don’t really look like a…” Waverly raised her eyebrows. The woman stopped, refiguring her next move. “Uh, why don’t I go get us some tiaras to look at?”

Waverly giggled as the woman pulled their curtain back, scuttling out of their dressing room. She couldn’t bring herself to care what strangers thought about her and Nicole anymore. The town, on the whole, had been far more accepting than either of them could have hoped. That being said, there were still plenty of jerks who made it their business; some old ladies who couldn't keep their mouths shut; a few patrons of Shorty's who couldn't get the relationship through their heads. 

“I think she meant that as a compliment.” Waverly glanced towards the mirror, caught on the long sheen of silvery white tracing her form.

“Don’t tell Nicole. She’ll drag us back to complain.” Wynonna muttered and Waverly laughed loudly, too giddy to stop herself. Any time not spent laughing was a wasted opportunity.

“I can’t believe I’m actually here.” She touched the fabric between her fingers. “Can you believe I’m here?”

Wynonna raised herself out of her slump, her shoulders cracking as she did. She was sitting in the one available chair in the dressing room and had been since they first entered four hours earlier. This was Waverly’s eighth dress and it seemed to be the one she was sticking with, or Wynonna hoped so. She hadn’t been quite prepared for what a ‘Waverly Earp buys her wedding dress’ day would look like. Sure, she knew her sister took everything about the wedding seriously but this went far beyond what Wynonna could've foreseen. She had a tolerance level for sweetness, and they had passed the limit forty minutes ago.

Waverly had asked her to come, she wanted somebody there and Wynonna was the obvious choice.

Nicole was fairly superstitious and refused to see Waverly in her dress.“It’s bad luck.” She'd explained a few weeks earlier. The three were gathered around the homestead kitchen eating Nicole’s chicken parm. “My Uncle Joey helped my late Aunt Carolyn pick out her dress and she was diagnosed with breast cancer within a year of the ceremony.”

“Jesus Christ…” Wynonna let out a breath and felt a smack on her arm from Waverly.

“It’s _important_ to Nicole.” Her eyes burned and Wynonna agreed to accompany her sister. It was cute how protective she was of Nicole, ‘specially with Nicole being a head taller than her and, you know, packing heat.

“I _can’t_ believe it.” Waverly repeated herself, turning to Wynonna. “It doesn’t even feel real.”

Wynonna laughed.

“You’ve been looking at bridal mags since you were three!”  She leaned forward in the chair, “I wouldn’t exactly call this surprising.” Waverly twirled again, sending the light spiraling all around the room in little dots. She had picked the sparkliest dress they had in stock but didn’t look anything less than dignified in it, like the queen of England or something. Wynonna had stayed clean out of the selection process. It was not her area of expertise in any sense.

“I know, I know…” Waverly trailed off, “But I didn’t think it would feel like this.” She glowed. “Besides, Nicole was a bit of a fun twist, you gotta admit!”

“Yeah, you marrying a complete lesbian was quite the surprise for _all_ of us, Waverly.”

Wynonna had a sarcastic smile playing on her lips and Waverly squinted.

“You have to be nice to me.” Her sister said, playing cold. “I’m a princess for the next seven months and don’t you forget it!”

Wynonna's smile held.

“I won’t, princess.”

 

\--

 

Waverly drove them back toward Purgatory, which didn’t have a bridal shop, and played the cheesy pop music they’d loved when they were kids.

“It feels so far away, but at the same time, there’s so much to do!” Waverly rambled, “And Nicole’s family is so big and complicated. I don’t know _how_ we’re gonna make everybody happy!”

Wynonna nodded, dozing off just a little.

“Are you staying at the homestead tonight?”

The question shook her back to reality.

“Uh, no.” Wynonna wiped her mouth and Waverly pulled the car off the highway, passing the Purgatory town limits. “You could drop me off at Dolls’ place if you want.” She shrugged, “I think we’ve got plans.” Waverly glanced at Wynonna with something in her eyes and clicked her teeth.

Wynonna stared back. “What?”

“You don’t think it’s a little funny that you two are still sleeping back and forth at each other’s houses?” Waverly kept her eyes forward, prodding sensitively. “Like you’re in college or something?”

“Never went. Wouldn’t know.” Wynonna answered, not liking the direction of the conversation.

“Fine, but…” She paused, “it’s been a year now. Maybe it’s time for, I don’t know, a next step?”

Wynonna turned her attention towards the road, snow was just starting to fall and the orange sun had disappeared into clouds.

“I don’t know.” She started, “We haven’t talked about it much.”

Waverly sighed. “That might be the place to start?” Wynonna wrapped her arms across her chest. “Just talk to him and see.”

“That’s not really us.” Wynonna said. Her sister rolled her eyes. “What, Waverly?”

“I don’t understand what’s so hard about just… starting a conversation or something.”

Wynonna didn't respond.

“I mean, when Nicole and I have a problem, we communicate, we talk about it.”

"Yeah." Wynonna had a bitter laugh bubbling in her throat, "Well, we can't all be you and Nicole." Waverly kept her vision straight, gripping the steering wheel tighter. 

"You're being avoidant." She said. "I'm just wondering if-"

“God, we’re not gonna get fucking married just ‘cause you two are!” She snapped.

Waverly winced and didn’t say anything.

Wynonna swallowed, backing down. “I just meant…”

“No, I’m sorry I brought it up.” Wynonna could see the tears fighting to fall in her sister’s eyes. Waverly held them back, pretending there was a speck of dust on her lashes. “I’ll drop you off.”

Wynonna sat back, cursing silently.

“Thanks for coming today. It means a lot.” Waverly offered, voice a little shaky. Wynonna lifted her eyes to meet Waverly’s.

“Of course.” 

 

\--

 

Dolls was already a little drunk when she got to his place, mixing it into his coffee like he did sometimes when the air got under zero before five. It made him feel warmer.

“Hey.” He said as she dropped her boots on the carpet, curling her feet into his couch.

“Hey.” She was exhausted.

“How’d it go?” He dropped next to her, keeping his distance until it was determined safe to approach. Wynonna liked attention but not always and Dolls knew how to play his cards right, knew how to play her right. She pushed into him a little and he let out a small breath, running his fingers into her hair.

“It was long.” She said, eyes opening and closing, “I think Waverly’s pissed at me.”

“What did you do?”

Wynonna turned and glared at him. “It has to be _me_ who did something?”

He held his arms up, surrendering.

Wynonna sighed. “You’re right, it was me.” His arms started to trace over her shoulders and she shook him off and stood, stretching. “I need a drink.”

He nodded. “I think she just wants everything to go perfectly with the wedding.”

Wynonna walked towards the kitchen, noting the already open bottle.

“I’m sure it will, with those two in charge.” She didn’t bother with a glass, taking a hard sip. Dolls watched her from the doorway. “Mrs. and Mrs. Perfect.”

Her words were harsh, harsher than Dolls liked to hear her talk about Waverly and Nicole.

“Come on, Wynonna.”

She glared at him.

“What?”

“They’re happy, they’re in love. They have been for, shit, for three years.” His arms were folded across his chest, a pose that always made him look good and he knew it. Right now though, it wasn't working. Wynonna just felt her agitation building, what she’d been smothering all day coming to a boil. “You can’t be happy for them?”

“I am.” Wynonna took another sip and wiped her mouth. “I’m just tired; can’t we watch Survivor or something and not think about my baby sister’s big gay wedding for a minute?”

Dolls stared at her, holding out longer than she could as her gaze returned to the bottle.

“Doc says you’re smoking again.”

Wynonna spun, eyes full of hurt. Her hands, which had been growing steady after the whiskey, starting shaking bad again.

“Asshole.”

“So, the gum’s not working.”

“Drop it.” Her words were primed for mauling, but Dolls didn’t back off.

“And you told him but not me?”

“I said, fucking drop it!”

The wind let out a low sound, crawling across Purgatory. It looked like the hard snow wouldn’t start until 1am but with the dark and the cold, it already felt like a blizzard. The windows of the small apartment trembled.

“Alright, fine.” He grabbed his coat from the door handle. “If you’re in this kind of mood, I can get out of here for awhile.”

Wynonna stared at him “What?” Her words felt useless. “No, come on. We have plans.”

“I don’t wanna listen to you bad-talk your sister all night, just cause you're jealous.”

Wynonna stammered, looking for a piece of the sinking ship to cling to.

“I wasn’t bad-talking anybody.” She started, “And I'm not jealous. What the _fuck_ does that mean?" Dolls had something on the tip of his tongue, barely not saying it."I just… I watched Waverly look at essentially identical dresses for three fucking hours. I’m tired. I just need to get a little drunk and…” She moved towards him, resting her hands on his shoulders. He was so broad, like a brick wall. “We can have fun tonight.” She added throatily.

Dolls laughed sadly. “Do we still have to get drunk to have fun together?”

The question stopped Wynonna. Dolls didn’t wait for an answer, knowing he wouldn’t get one. He started towards the door again.

“I need to get drunk to have fun anywhere. You know that.” She stated, still blunt. “It’s not about you.”

“Right, it’s never about me.” Dolls’ face was blank.

Wynonna sneered. “Don’t be such a little bitch, man.”

Dolls looked at Wynonna again and kept moving, out the door and down the stairs.

“I’ll be back in a couple hours.” He pulled his coat tighter around him, the wind was howling out there. “Maybe we can _have some fun_ later.”

Wynonna nodded, her throat constricted.

“I’ll be drunk.”

“You better be.”

Dolls went out into the snow. Maybe to Shorty’s, that’s where Waverly and Doc would be. She still did shifts with the old cowboy sometimes. Wynonna wanted to follow him, but at the same time, she absolutely did not want to follow him. She took another swig from the bottle

It was more fun to get drunk with someone but it was less fun to be sober alone.

 

\--

 

“Wynonna really send you out in the bitter cold just to pick up a few bottles?”

Dolls shook his head, not smiling. Shorty’s wasn’t full, not many wanted to brave the storm tonight, but Waverly was still working with Doc and Nicole wasn’t on duty. There were a few scattered dinner plates from earlier in the evening and many an empty glass. Nicole was sitting, more than a little drunk, and had somehow got Waverly on the other side of the bar top. The waitress was now propping up her girlfriend, sticking kisses on her neck whenever an opportunity presented itself.

“I think I’ve lost them both.” Doc said, with a grin that gave away too much.

“I’m just trying to keep her upright.” Waverly was flushed but functional. Nicole let out a murmur at this, nearly sliding out of her seat. “It might be time to bring her home.”

“But I just got here.” Dolls started, motioning for Doc to pour him a finger of whatever they’d been drinking all night.

“You, sir, should go home to your girlfriend.” Waverly enunciated, raising a finger to his chest.

“And keep her there!” Nicole mumbled, earning a light slap from Waverly.

“I thought you were asleep.” She whispered, pressing another kiss to Nicole’s cheek. A greedy smile came over the officer and she turned to face Waverly head on, pulling their lips together.

“I swear, what is it about marriage that causes women to lose all their sense of public decency.” Doc rolled his eyes, “They’ve been like this all evening, I’m afraid.”

Dolls tossed back his shot.

“If I minded these two being all over each other, I wouldn’t have lasted very long in this town.” He looked down at the stained wood of the bar, “Better than what’s back at my apartment.” Doc eyed him. “Waverly say anything about what happened at the bridal shop?”

Doc shook his head. “Was she bad tonight?”

Dolls smiled. 

“Only getting worse.” 

 

\--

 

“I’m moving in.”

Dolls was bleary and drunk, as was she.

“Wynonna?”

She pulled him inside the apartment and kissed him hard and harder. Dolls caught her frame and kissed back, trapping them both in the doorframe.

“I’m.” She kissed him, “Moving.” Again. “In.” Again. 

He smiled and felt afraid.

“Okay.”

 

**MARCH**

 

“No, mama.” Nicole rubbed some weariness from her eyes, “I’m telling you that we _don’t_ want the Michaelson’s there. I’ve met them all of two times.”

Waverly smirked from the couch, Nicole’s mom still fighting the same battles.

She had met the woman, along with her father and two sisters the first time she’d flown down to Houston a year after they’d started dating. Wynonna ached like a lost puppy on holidays so with Christmas and Thanksgiving struck out, they picked a random weekend in early June to surprise the Haughts. Waverly won everyone over almost immediately, _except_ for Mrs. Danielle Haught who was stubbornly protective of her eldest daughter’s heart like it was her own. She took it on herself to quiz Waverly on Nicole’s history and interests, throwing a few trick questions in there for her own satisfaction. Nicole was mortified but Waverly answered almost all of them like a pro and impressed Mr. Haught with her tolerance for hard liquor. Though she was given a hearty approval by Sunday, Mrs. Haught was still looking for as much control over the wedding as she could possibly exert, all to Nicole’s horror. “Can’t you just tell them we’re trying to have it be a small affair? Maybe remind them of how far up north we are.” She paused and Waverly heard a scrambled voice on the other end. “No, of course _you’re_ making it, mama. You wouldn’t miss this if we were having it on the moon.”

Waverly couldn’t help herself and snorted loudly. Nicole shot her a look which she returned fiercely. Waverly had always prided herself on getting on well with strangers, and the Haughts were no exception, but it made her heart fill up thinking about how much they cared for Nicole; even if it could be a bit much. She had a smattering of potential invitation pictures on the coffee table, with various fonts and colors all mixed together. A few candles were lit, helpful in the dark ever since power had become extremely unreliable on Earp land.

“Okay, I’ll handle it then.” Nicole sighed, “I love you too, bye.” She hung up the phone and flopped her head down on Waverly’s lap, letting out another, longer sigh. “I think she’s gonna want to write my vows too.”

“She better, otherwise they’ll be too cheesy for anyone to listen to.” Waverly teased, running her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair and enjoying the soft breathy sounds that resulted.

"And you'll love every minute of them." Nicole smiled gently, "I won you over with that cheesy shit and don't you forget it!" 

"Mmm, how could I?" Waverly said, her fingers providing a healing touch and dimming the migraine that always appeared when Nicole had to talk with her mother. 

“Baby, that feels so good.”

Waverly smirked and leant down to kiss Nicole’s forehead. She eased up and caught Waverly’s lips in hers, tangling their bodies up.

“You know,” Waverly’s breath hitched as Nicole started kissing down her neck, “I was trying to work here.” Nicole pulled back with a terrible smile.

“So very sorry to distract you, Mrs. Earp”

Waverly rolled her eyes, hiding her grin.

“Do you think your mom will ever forgive me for not taking the proud Haught name?”

Nicole shook her head.

“I think she’ll be too busy crying over the lack of pigs-in-a-blanket at the reception.” Waverly cackled, pulling Nicole’s arms tighter around her. “Don’t you canucks understand tradition?” She kissed Waverly again, drawing it out this time. Waverly pushed into a deeper kiss and only worried for a second about messing up her carefully arranged board of choices. She never really got tired of this, never got tired of feeling Nicole.

“Hey, do you smell that?” Waverly felt Nicole pull away and groaned.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She tried to wrap her arms around her girlfriend but Nicole was already standing up, sniffing the air. Waverly looked around. “I don’t smell anything, Nic.”

“Seriously?” Nicole stood like a hound, eyes closed, “Smells like something burning.”

Waverly took a deep breath in and recognized the smell immediately.

Cigarettes.

“God damn it. Wynonna!” She called, marching out the front door and flipping on the porch lamps on her way out. Everything was covered in light traces of snow, though most of it had gone by early March. Her sister was curled up by one of the pillars with a cigarette in one hand and a near empty bottle in the other. She looked up, staring blindly into the light.

“Hey sis.”

“I thought you quit.” Waverly wrapped her arms around herself. Wynonna didn’t respond, not even shivering. “You wanna freeze to death out here or something?”

Wynonna smiled.

“Kinda.”

“Get inside!” Waverly pulled Wynonna up, not recoiling at the touch of her frozen skin.

 

\--

 

“Where’s Dolls?” Nicole asked, setting down a cup of hot chocolate in front of Wynonna.

“He was being annoying.” Wynonna’s teeth were chattering a little, “I didn’t wanna deal with that, so I left.”

Waverly stood in the corner, watching Nicole accommodate for her sister, pulling out blankets and setting up the fireplace. She swallowed and said, “So, what? You just walked out? What was he saying?”

Wynonna locked eyes with Waverly. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. ” Nicole looked at Waverly, very helpless. “He’s been like this ever since we finished it.” Waverly got closer, setting herself down on the couch next to Wynonna. “All damn year.”

“Like what?” Waverly pressed. Wynonna groaned.

“Like, all moapy and emotional and not-Dolls-like.” She gritted her teeth, “It’s fucking irritating.”

Nicole sat down in the big armchair, something she’d brought with her after the move-in. It always seemed out of place in her modern apartment but was perfectly suited for the homestead. “Well, everyone’s a little different now.” She started, looking at Waverly for support, “Everything’s changed.”

“You two haven’t changed.” Wynonna didn’t look at either of them. Nicole and Waverly made weary eye-contact. “You two seem better than ever. You know, with the whole ‘getting married’ deal you got going.”

“Well, maybe that’s it!” Waverly exclaimed, frustration blowing up in her face. “Maybe _something_ needs to change. So we saved the world; we ended the curse; that’s great, but things can’t be like they were before. They just can’t, Wynonna.” She threw her hands up and stood, locking the front door before storming up the steps to her modified joint-room.

Wynonna stared straight ahead.

Nicole grasped at a way to smooth everything over, trying too hard. 

“She’s just tired, the planning’s been so stressful. My parents-”

“Don’t. It’s fine.” Wynonna kept her eyes locked on the growing fire.

Nicole shifted, leaning forward in the armchair. “Maybe you should text Xavier, let him know you’re okay.” Wynonna eyed her strangely, desperate to light up again. “What?”

“Nothing, just…” She paused, turning back to the flames. “Who calls him _Xavier_?”

Nicole didn’t know what to say and opted for nothing. After a moment, she stood.

“Do you want to stay down here tonight?”

Wynonna nodded and pulled the extra blanket from where Nicole had laid it a few moments earlier. Nicole nodded and went to follow her girlfriend up the stairs.

“Nicole.” Wynonna stopped her.

“Yeah?” She turned back, half expecting to be asked for a drink.

“Am I being a dickhead?”

Wynonna had no humor in her eyes but Nicole couldn’t but chuckle.

“You’re not, Wynonna.” She said, only lying a little.

Wynonna nodded.

Nicole tramped the rest of the way up the stairs, catching Jane in a dash from one room to another. The cat loved drama, like she could smell it in the air.

 

\--

 

Waverly was furiously brushing her teeth when she got to their room. Nicole sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands, rubbing her temple. Waverly spit into the small trash bin.

“Can you believe her?”

Nicole put her hands up.

“Obviously something’s going on.”

“No shit!” Waverly was spitting flames. Nicole couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her girlfriend this angry. “I know _exactly_ what’s going on. She’s not going to her AA stuff, she’s smoking again, she’s bored, she feels guilty about Gus, she’s angry, and she can’t accept that we actually _won_.” Waverly slammed her toothbrush on the dresser, shaking Wilson (Cat #2) out from under it. “She’s acting like there’s still a war going on!”

Nicole came up behind Waverly and wrapped her long arms around her, breathing into her neck.

“Baby.” Waverly’s hands twisted in her shirt as she felt the first few tears start to drop off her cheeks. “I know you’re upset. You’re right to be upset, but,” Nicole kissed her neck. “She needs us.”

“It’s like she’s mad at me for getting married.” Waverly’s shoulders shook gently. “Or maybe just for being content.” Nicole rubbed the tears into her skin like lotion.

“I don’t know about that.”

Waverly turned and faced Nicole, wrapping her arms around the taller girl’s neck.

“She’s acting like she did, right before she left again.” Waverly looked at the floor, “I don't know how she's gonna take the news. She might get really angry.”

Waverly’s fears materialized in front of Nicole; afraid of hurting Wynonna in the same way Wynonna hurt her. 

“She’ll be alright, baby.” Nicole smiled and wiped a few traces of broken mascara from under Waverly’s eye. “We’ve got her.”

Waverly smiled sadly.

“I hope so.”

They kissed and stood there awhile longer, feeling warm in each other’s company. Nicole’s headache was still raging and she put her fingers back to work, massaging the sides of her head. Waverly cooed and kissed her forehead.

“There’s advil in the kitchen, do you want me to grab some?” She wiped her cheek.

“That would be really nice.”

Waverly smiled with a few tears left in her vision and snuck down the stairs, careful not to disturb Wynonna, who was already passed out on their couch.

 

**MAY**

 

Nicole recognized the car as soon as it passed her, lighting up a seventy in the forty-five zone she was waiting in. She almost didn’t want to go after it, but knew Waverly would _kill_ her if Nicole let her sister total that fucking truck.

“Ah hell, Wynonna.” She shifted the car into gear and flipped on her sirens, tires spiraling in the mud. She’d been putting in extra hours for Nedley, night shifts and all that, trying to save up for a halfway decent honeymoon for Waverly. Once she got back, it would be all ‘two weeks notice’ and moving and getting out of Purgatory; no place for overtime.

She pulled over with surprising compliance. Nicole stepped out into the night, still cold for spring.

“Oh thank God.” Wynonna laughed as Nicole stepped up to her window. “It’s you.”

“You’re really drunk.” It was obvious from the moment Nicole laid eyes on her. Not to mention the smell.

“I’m not that drunk.” Wynonna protested with a dazed look on her face.  

“Uh huh.” Nicole pulled out her phone, “I’m not gonna write you a ticket,” Wynonna’s face lit up, “But I _am_ calling Dolls.”

“No!”

Nicole jumped, looking at Wynonna with frantic eyes.

“What?”

“Don’t call Dolls…” Wynonna shook her head, “Please, please don’t call him.” Nicole stared at her, still lost. “Come on, Nicole. Buddy, pal, partner-in-whiskey-related crime.”

“Why wouldn’t you want me calling Dolls?” She asked, shaking her phone on each word. “Are you two fighting?”

Wynonna turned away from her, reaching across the dashboard to the glove compartment. She returned with a thin stack of bills.

Nicole’s eyes widened.

“I got like…” She fingered the money, “two hundred and thirteen here AND I won’t tell Waverly about the time you gambled that necklace she bought you for Valentine's away to Doc.” She extended her arm out the car window.

Nicole was staring at her, mouth open. “You knew about that?” 

“I needed _some_ dirt on you if this whole ‘sister in law’ thing was gonna work out.” Wynonna rolled her eyes. “And if you think she’ll forgive and forget; she won’t. Girl knows how to hold a grudge.”

“Waverly knows I don’t wear necklaces anyway, I didn’t think that…” Nicole started mumbling to herself before snapping back to attention. “Hey! You’re trying to bribe a police officer!” She exclaimed, pushing Wynonna’s money back in the car. “That’s a crime!”

“Not if you take it.” Wynonna waved her hand around, trying to hypnotize her.

“Actually it’s still a crime,” Nicole corrected, her hands on her hips, “It’s just then _I_ get arrested too.” Wynonna scoffed, folding the money up and tucking it back where it belonged, safe for another bribery.

“Johnny Giles always takes the money.”

“Johnny Giles is the worst state officer in this whole damn county.” Nicole hit the 'call contact' button on her phone. “I’m calling Dolls.”

Wynonna crossed her arms, her brows dipping. “Don’t expect a toast from me.”

 

\--

 

Dolls came by the station around 1:30, Nicole tried to read him but found it nearly impossible. Even with all they'd been through together, she still couldn’t see through the layers when he didn’t want her to.

“Thanks for calling.” He said, sleep coloring his voice as he walked over to Wynonna, now passed out on one of the station benches.

“Anytime.” Nicole fiddled with the pen in her hands, deciding not to put this on Wynonna’s file. “Hey, Xavier.” He turned, his eyes hard. “Is everything alright?”

He broke into a small smile.

“Everything’s fine, Officer Haught.”

She nodded and looked down at her desk as Dolls gathered Wynonna up in his arms like an infant.

 

**JUNE**

 

Waverly didn’t know what to say or how to say it so she chose not to, simply laying the tickets on the counter, next to Wynonna’s half-empty glass. Her sister took a look at them and shot a confused glance at Waverly.

“You two are honeymooning in Boston?” She asked incredulously, “That’s a bit lame even for you, nerd.”

Waverly shook her head, her eyes starting to brim already. Wynonna squinted.

“Oh.”

“We didn’t want to tell you until we were sure.” Waverly started, her hands shaking, “But I sent in my confirmation letter today. Harvard. Their linguistics program is considered one of the best in the world.”

Wynonna did not feel drunk enough for this.

“You’re-”

“Leaving, I know.” Waverly cut her off, touching Wynonna’s shoulder. “But the curse is over. We can go anywhere we want.” She took a deep shuddering breath, Waverly hated how easily she cried but she could never stop herself in the moment. “And Nicole and I want to go to Boston. I can get my masters and start, I don’t know; teaching or consulting or translating. I haven’t even decided yet, that’s how wide open this is.” Waverly was rambling, her mouth full of all the wrong words.

“But, Nicole-”

“Nicole has an entry-level position in the BPD. It’s not great, we were hoping that all the time she’d put in here and the killer recommendation from Nedley would help her out a bit more, but she got it.” Waverly smiled a small smile, not trying to hold back her pride. “Of course, she did.” Wynonna was quiet. “And you know, I’ve been reading all about the area; the history of Cambridge and all that. We’re pretty much living like thirty minutes from where the American Revolution started! And there are all these paths you can take, walking the same trail the soldiers did and historical native sites. It’s all... very cool.” Waverly paused, sucking her excitement down. “We’re looking at some really nice apartments. We’re actually flying down in a couple weeks to check them out in person.” She laughed. “It all feels very grown up.”

“Stop.”

Wynonna was very still and Waverly felt fear return to her.

“Wynonna?”

She went quiet again and Waverly pulled at her shirt, looking for something. 

"Wynonna, say something."

“Now I know.” Her words were mangled.

Waverly cleared her throat. “What?”

Wynonna turned and faced her sister, her eyes trying to focus.

“Now I know how you felt.” Her lips were cracked.

Waverly swallowed and wrapped her arms around Wynonna, holding her too close. Wynonna’s brain was frying with a thousand ugly thoughts; things she could say to ruin her baby sister where she stood but she didn’t say any of them. She didn’t say anything at all.

"It's not all that far, and you can come visit with Dolls, we're hoping for this old brick place with a guest room." Wynonna could hear how excited Waverly was, it colored everything she said. "And we can talk all the time."

"Right." Wynonna felt everything tighten. She didn't want to look at Waverly. "I've gotta go."

She walked away from the kitchen and her sister, out the front door, into the warmth of Purgatory's June. The dewey grass soaked her boots. 

“Wynonna?” Waverly called after her three more times but on hearing the engine start she fell silent. The glass still had some liquor left in it which Waverly happily drank as the tears fell free and fast.

 

\--

 

Dolls was reading when she slammed the door open. She wasn’t crying yet.

“You’re home.”

Wynonna said nothing, turning towards Dolls with blurry vision.

“Is everything alright?”

“They’re leaving.” Her words were thick and Dolls stood up, moving towards her.

“Waverly and Nicole?” Wynonna nodded and stared at the ground.“Oh.” He took off his glasses, setting them on the coffee table. 

“Oh.” She repeated. Reaching into her back pocket, she found the pack she’d been trying to avoid all week. Dolls _hated_ her smoking inside, she knew this and lit up.

“Wynonna.” Dolls said, a sad warning.

"It's my house too, buddy." She wasn't looking at him, "You let that happen."

They stood as if preparing for a Mexican standoff without any guns, isolated on either side of the living room. 

“They’re going to Boston.” Wynonna said, feeling some relief flood through her. “Fucking Boston.”

Dolls stepped towards her. “That’s not too far.”

“It’s far enough!” Wynonna said, losing her grip, “If they were going to fucking Toronto it’d be to far! What the fuck do you mean ‘not too far’?” Her voice broke and she wished she still had peacemaker so she could fire it into the ceiling. Wynonna took another drag and Dolls moved on her, snatching the cigarette out of her hand and smothering it against the west wall of the apartment. She glared at him and pulled another out of her jeans.

“Fuck you, man.”

“Stop it.” He grabbed onto her shoulders. “Let’s sit down and talk. You don’t get to scream and curse me out and pretend you’re dealing with anything.”

Wynonna shrugged him off.

“I can actually do whatever the hell I want.” She flipped her lighter. “You’re not my boss anymore, boss.” Dolls backed away, his fists shaking.

“You’re killing yourself. Do you want to kill yourself?” Wynonna didn’t answer, he took a breath. “I’m trying to help.”

“You’re trying to help yourself.” Wynonna blew smoke as she talked, looking like a dragon. “I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to make yourself feel better, less guilty.” She stepped towards him, “So when you check out, you won’t feel like you hurt anybody.”

“Me? Checking out?” Dolls laughed which had always scared Wynonna. “I’m the one who’s checked out?”

“I know what you’re doing. I’ve done it before.” Wynonna spat. “Listen, I’m not the one who fucked up, okay? I didn’t make you quit Black Badge. I didn’t kill Gus. I didn’t lose!” Wynonna wiped her face with her empty hand, her forehead was slick.

“No one blames you for what happened, Wynonna.” Dolls started, feeling his breath catch on the smoke. “Certainly not me.”

She came close to his face, noticing the new lines, the new crevices. He looked older than he was. Wynonna imagined that she did too.

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t.” He said, firmer this time. Wynonna wrapped her fingers around his shoulders and shook, looking for the reaction she was so hungry for. 

“I know you do! That’s _why_ you want to leave!” The words were coming out as screams, thoughts she couldn’t control if she wanted to. “You resent me. You’re pissed off at me. Say it! Say something!”

Dolls shook his head and pulled away from her, walking back into the kitchen in search of something to smooth the words over.

“You’re confused, Wynonna.”

She followed him, dragging his eyes back to meet her own under the flourescent lighting.

“You want more than this.” She whispered, her throat tight and contracted. “We did something good, yeah, sure, but now what are we doing? Sitting around? Feeling just _dandy_ about all the great shit we accomplished? Feeling miserable about everybody who died around us?” She took a breath, her lungs hissing. “Waverly and Nicole? They've lives outside of this, outside of revenants and the curse and fuckin’ Purgatory, but we, you and me? This shit’s all we got.” She smiled horribly. “I was the heir but now the curse is over. You were the guy, _the_ government official, but you committed treason. So what do we do? Get married? Pop out some ugly children?” She shook her head, violent. “Don’t act for one second like that make you happy. Cause I _know_ you Dolls. And unfortunately, you know me.” His face was blank, steady as always. “Yeah, we made great soldiers. A great team.” She said, sarcasm threading her tone. “But we’re too fucked to be happy at peacetime. So, maybe I haven’t been the best at quitting the drinking and the smoking and all of that, but are you really telling me that you’d even be interested if I did? Do you want the perfect little housewife?” She was spitting, very close to throwing up. “Or do you want me? Do you want this?”

Dolls met her halfway and pushed their lips together. Wynonna didn’t fight it for a second. The cigarette fell from her fingers, crumpling into the tile. He grabbed her, pushing Wynonna up against the countertop. She felt the despair sink in as she pulled her shirt off over her head. Dolls saw it in her eyes and kept going.

They hadn’t fucked in a while, Wynonna felt her legs shake as she came, lying against the cold tile. Both felt their breathing become harsh and irregular. 

Dolls got up first, steadying himself against the fridge and picking up various articles of clothing. Wynonna pushed herself up, sitting against the Ikea drawers Nicole had helped install a few summers ago.

He looked at her and swallowed.

“Dolls.” She croaked out, not knowing what she wanted to say.

He stared back.

“How is it that I had no problem switching to ‘Wynonna’, but you could never seem to get my name right?” Wynonna felt her mouth open but nothing came out. 

Dolls sighed.

“We’re done, Earp.”

He tossed Wynonna her jeans and walked back over to the couch, pulling a loose blanket out. Finally a tear slipped out and washed down Wynonna's face, landing on the floor with a small, sad noise.

 

**JULY**

 

The day itself wasn’t what they’d hoped for, overcast and humid, but that didn’t stop the two from weeping at the sight of each other all done up. Nicole was wearing an antique, something her mother had wore on her wedding day and her grandmomma before that. Wynonna had seen it before the ceremony and snorted; it looked like something they’d use in a community theater production of My Fair Lady; a bit old-fashioned even by _Doc’s_ standards.

Waverly, however, did not share her opinion, bursting into tears the minute she laid eyes on her bride. All day, Waverly wouldn’t shut up about the dress and how Nicole looked in the dress and how incredible the heirloom was. “Someday, your daughter might be wearing it!” Nicole’s mother had said after the dancing had started, causing Waverly to start crying all over again.

Nicole didn’t fair much better, Waverly’s dress was rapturous; classy and gorgeous and modern and just _Waverly_. They both choked through their vows, Nicole’s being just as cheesy as Waverly predicted. Every time she finished a sentence, a member of her extended clan would whoop and holler, a tradition that Doc and Dolls gladly joined in on. Waverly was less objectively sentimental but her tears warped her words so that only Nicole could really understand what she was saying.   

Nicole’s family was _not_ such a pain, though there were many of them. On the Earp side of things, all they really had were Wynonna and the two boys. Gus, who would have loved to be the one to give Waverly away, was present only in the knowledge that she was buried a couple hundred feet from where they were standing. Chrissy Nedley and her father also came, standing out in the sea of red hair. Nicole must have had close to a hundred relatives present, from aunts to distant cousins to sisters to family friends. They were sweet to Waverly, although every single Haught must have mentioned how she was ‘ _so not Nicole’s type_ '.

She accepted all of this gracefully and despite being overwhelmed, was too much in love to mind.

When they kissed the whole field erupted.

They’d decided to host the reception in an old public building just a little ways across town. Never could the small town of Purgatory have been prepared for such a thing as the Haught migration from the old Earp estate. Cars and trucks and folks just pulling up their dresses and walking in the thick July air. Their first dance was an old Indigo Girls ballad, Nicole had introduced her to it. Waverly was a better dancer than Nicole but it didn’t really matter at all.

“Do you think anyone’s noticing my two left feet?” Nicole whispered as they neared the middle of the song. Waverly just smirked and kissed her like anybody would hope to be kissed on her wedding day.

“Maybe a little, Nic.”

The Haughts had helped pay for an open bar where Wynonna found herself again and again. She imagined for Shorty was still up and kicking, he would have loved to be the bartender at an Earp wedding. Dolls had been avoiding her, too busy being the life of the party to everyone’s surprise. He was chatting up Nicole’s mother like a fine southern gentlemen. _Guess I was really holding him back,_ Wynonna thought to herself.

They kept making eye contact at the ceremony; accidental or possible intentional, Wynonna could barely tell at this point. They hadn’t seen each other in weeks.

Nicole’s younger sister made a toast, as well as her father. Their accents were all thicker than Nicole’s, as far as Wynonna knew they were all still living in Houston. By the time Wynonna was pulled up, she was very drunk.

“I’m terrible at speeches.” Everyone cheered, just as wasted as her. 

 

\--

 

Dolls found her later in the parking lot. He asked if he could bum a cigarette and she complied, lighting his off the one between her fingers. The sun was just starting to go down and the whole sky was lit up in the violet and peach. Thankfully, the heat from earlier had evaporated and the evening was cool and light.

Wynonna’s dress itched and her shoes, which had been killing her during the ceremony, had been tossed in the trash can nearby, her bare feet touching the warm concrete.

“Have you told Waverly how much you’re gonna miss her?” Dolls asked, sitting next to her, his tie undone.

“She knows.” Wynonna took a long drag and Dolls laughed.

“You’d think so by now,” He gazed back towards the door, “but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the assurance.”

Party music could be heard faintly through the empty lot, echoing from car to car. Waverly had been in charge of the playlist, knowing Nicole would only put the worst kind of romantic country on if she got the chance.

“They’ve really got it, haven’t they?” Wynonna asked, not really looking for an answer. Dolls nodded. “Damn lesbians.”

She lifted herself off the sidewalk curb and put an arm out to Dolls. He raised his eyebrows. Wynonna groaned.

“Just get up here and dance with me, will you?"

Dolls smiled and took her arm. They slow-danced to what sounded like a Katy Perry song, shuffling back and forth as the sky grew darker and darker. Wynonna took a deep inhale and was reminded of how much she loved his cologne, something with spices and apple.

“I’m sorry about all the shit I said.” Wynonna was nestled against his chest. “But you know it’s kinda true.”

Dolls looked up, stars becoming visible.

“I don’t agree, Earp.” He finally said, holding her tighter against him. “But I guess I’ll just have to convince you otherwise.”

Wynonna pulled back, squinting at him.

“What do you mean?”

Dolls took a breath.

“There’s this town, south of Charlotte in Virginia.” He started, “I’ve been contacted by a few officials there who heard about my work with Black Badge. Something about… half human creatures, killing civilians, leaving big bloody messes.” He grinned, “I figured it was our specialty.”

Wynonna’s eyes filled.

“You up for another fight?” He asked, their fingers coming together. Wynonna kissed him just as a round of hollers came from within the building.

“You know it.”

 

\--

 

Waverly got the text as they were boarding their flight the next morning. She smirked and showed a very hungover Nicole.

“How fast do you think we’re gonna get dragged in?” Nicole whispered, kissing her wife on the cheek. Waverly laughed and felt the worry she’d been holding in float away, very ready for a vacation.

“We’ll just have to see.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> (you can't stop me from making Nicole love the indigo girls)
> 
> a little bittersweet ending for you all cause im not so mean! 
> 
> leave a comment if you enjoyed or if you feel sad. they mean everything to me.


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